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- Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
- Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
- Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
- Rottweiler: Make me.
- Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
- Tibetan Terrier: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he’s busy!
- Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
- Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
- German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
- Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
- Doberman: While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.
- Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
- Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
- Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I’ve got this hangover….
- Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….
- Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
- Yorkshire Terrier: I’m over qualified, have the boxer do it!
- Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..
- Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb?
- Hound Dog: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z…z
- Schnauzer: Bark bark bark. Mom, the light bulb is out…bark bark bark bark… MOM! I said the light bulb is out! Bark bark bark bark bark… MOM!!! WHAT PART OF THAT DIDN’T YOU HEAR? I MEAN HELLO????
- Shih Tzu: Who me change a light bulb? We are royal decedents and we have staff to do that for us.
And what about CATS?
Cats: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?
All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.