How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb

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  • Golden Retriever:  The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
  • Border Collie:  Just one.  And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
  • Dachshund:  You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
  • Rottweiler:  Make me.
  • Lab:  Oh, me, me!!!!  Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!  Can I? Can I?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  Can I?
  • Tibetan Terrier:  Let the Border Collie do it.  You can feed me while he’s busy!
  • Jack Russell Terrier:  I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
  • Poodle:  I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it.  By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
  • German Shepherd:  I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
  • Cocker Spaniel:  Why change it?  I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
  • Doberman:  While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.
  • Boxer:  Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
  • Chihuahua:  Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
  • Irish Wolfhound:  Can somebody else do it?  I’ve got this hangover….
  • Pointer:  I see it, there it is, there it is, right there….
  • Greyhound:  It isn’t moving.  Who cares?
  • Yorkshire Terrier:  I’m over qualified, have the boxer do it!
  • Australian Shepherd:  First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..
  • Old English Sheep Dog:  Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb?
  • Hound Dog:  ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z…z
  • Schnauzer:  Bark bark bark. Mom, the light bulb is out…bark bark bark bark… MOM!  I said the light bulb is out! Bark bark bark bark bark… MOM!!!  WHAT PART OF THAT DIDN’T YOU HEAR?  I MEAN HELLO????
  • Shih Tzu:  Who me change a light bulb?  We are royal decedents and we have staff to do that for us.

And what about CATS?

Cats: Dogs do not change light bulbs.  People change light bulbs.  So, the question is:  How long will it be before I can expect light?

All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.

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