Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.